Negotiations 101: How to negotiate without stress

The 5 Negotiation Tips Every Millennial Woman Should Know

At this point it’s safe to say that most women know that they should negotiate. This is not just applicable to job offers, rather any opportunity that they are presented with that is of a great deal of value in exchange for a good or service. For the sake of this piece though, I will limit the scope to employment offers. Here are my 5 tips for a successful negotiation:

1. Always and Never

That’s right. You should always negotiate. Yet, you should never disclose your current or previous compensation. It is against the law in many cities and states already to be asked for that information. Be sure to check your state here. If you’re wondering why this is a big deal, remember that the gender wage gap is a real thing and chances are you’ve been under-compensated in the past so disclosing that will only perpetuate the problem. There’s no point in getting a new job rooted in old value and economic oppression. Let’s not do this to ourselves.

2. Role Play

Guess what? There aren’t many people who actually enjoy negotiating. In order to make this easier, imagine that you’re actually an attorney and your client is someone you care about deeply yet hold in the highest regard. Isn’t that how we should all feel about ourselves anyway? Great! Well, it becomes easier to advocate on behalf of someone else. That said, time to put on your attorney hat and be firm in this negotiation for “your client.” You know what she’s/they're worth!

3. Document. Document. Document.

It becomes a much easier conversation if you are working off of a document instead of winging it. You’ll want to write down your rationale for the entire ask. That is usually done in two parts. Part one is all about bringing the offer package to parity with what you’re potentially walking away from in your current role. For example, are you getting the same amount or more paid time off? Or are you losing 1-2% 401k matching. All of these things matter and should be taken into account. Part two is all about your personal superiority. Yes, you are worth it. There is a reason why they chose to extend the offer to you! Based on your market research, if you feel that you deserve more here is where you’ll want to document the key skills, experiences, and strengths that support that ask either to or above the market rate.

4. Prioritize & Strategize

Once you have everything documented, you’ll want to rank order your two parts aka prioritize. Ideally, they should still be kept separate. What you’ll find over time is that the superiority list usually helps you obtain some of those asks to keep you whole (at parity) with your current package and then some. The reason for that is the elements of your offer that are different are usually the things that organizations claim are standard across the organization. Essentially, you’ll need them to either bend the rules or compensate you in another way to make you whole (e.g. base salary, bonus, equity, etc.). Go into the conversation knowing what you (and your client) are willing to accept in lieu of the exact things that you’re asking for aka strategize.

5. Lesser of the Two Equals

Sounds strange I know, but just read along it’s a numbers psychology game. I have been experimenting with presenting numbers in different ways in multiple deals to understand the other person’s perception. What I've found is that the although an absolute number and the equivalent percentage of another absolute number hold the same value, they can be perceived and received like NIGHT AND DAY. Not a math person? See below for examples.

Example of a Small Ask: One digit percentages seem small to most people. So, let’s say that you and your client (wink wink) find after completing 1-4 that she really only needs another $10,000 in order to feel good about the offer. Shoutout to her because that means that she found a company that understood her value pretty well upfront and wants to pay her fairly! In this case, if $10,000 were only 6% of the base salary she was offered, then she could make her request a percentage instead of an absolute dollar amount.

Bonus tip: You can also position it as “at least 6% more” or pad it by another 1-2% to make sure you net out at that $10,000 you/your client want.

Example of a Big Ask: Let’s say you’re negotiating a big promotion (either internal or external). It’s a little difficult to say, I’m expecting 80% (or any large percentage) more. In this case, it would likely be better to present absolute figures and use your market research and superiority list from point 3 to support it.

I say all that to say, negotiating doesn’t come easy to most. It is all a mind game. One that you first need to play with yourself and then with HR or your hiring manager. No matter, what you got this!

Onward!

Chantel